|
DISCLAIMER: Action figures sold
separately. Add toner. All models over 18
years of age. All rights reserved, all lefts reserved. Allow four to six
seconds, or weeks, for delivery. An equal opportunity electron employer,
or message. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is
unintentional and purely coincidental. Any resemblance to actual software,
running or hung, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to
affected area. Approved for veterans. As seen on TV. At participating
locations only. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes.
Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Avoid extreme temperatures and store
in a cool dry place.
Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of
dog. Bits are slightly enlarged to show detail. Booths for two or more.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
Cache and carry. Call toll free number before digging. Caveat emptor.
Check here if tax deductible. Close cover before striking. Code used in
this software was made from 100% recycled electrons. Colors may fade.
Constantly volatile when exposed to static pointers. Contains a
substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during
shipment. Contest ends 31-Dec-2010. Contestants have been briefed on some
questions before the show.
Disclaimer does not cover accident, alien attack, attempted modification,
attempting to actually run the software, broken antenna or marred cabinet,
broken glass, bugs in the code, cosmic rays, customer adjustments that are
not covered in the joke list, damage from improper installation, damage
from improper reading, dropping the item, earthquake, electromagnetic
radiation from nuclear blasts, falling rocks, flood, flying squirrels,
forest fire, house arrest, hurricane, improper or unauthorized reading,
incidents owing to an airplane crash, incidents related to all types of
accidents, incorrect line voltage, leaky roof, lightning, missing or
altered serial numbers, misuse, motor vehicle accidents, mud slides,
neglect, other Acts of Bob, other Acts of God, projectiles (which can
include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel,
lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma
rays, knives, stones, etc.), repair, ship sinking or taking on water,
sonic boom vibrations, tornado, tsunami, unauthorized repair, verbal
assaults, volcanic eruption.
Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Do not disturb. Do not place near
a flammable or magnetic source. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store
above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty
of law. Do not stamp. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy
equipment. Do not write below this line. Documents are provided "as
is" without any warranties expressed or implied. Don't quote me on
anything. Don't quote me on that. Driver does not carry cash. Drop in any
mailbox.
Edited for television. Employees and their families are not eligible. For
external use only.
Falling rock. First pull up, then pull down. Flames redirected to
/dev/null. For a limited time only. For external use only. For off-road
use only. For office use only. For recreational use only. Free software
offer valid only at participating FTP sites.
Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Hard hat area.
If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and
consult your magic eight-ball. If any defects are discovered, do not
attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.
If condition persists, consult your physician. If ingested, do not induce
vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. If symptoms
persist, delete yourself immediately. If this software begins to smoke,
then run, do not walk, towards the nearest exit. If you suspect an
overloaded operator, destroy immediately. Instructions are included.
Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling (fumes). Keep away from
sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly.
Limit one per family. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt
delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by
bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays
maximum rate.
Many suitcases look alike. May be too intense for some viewers. May cause
drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect. Message is provided
"as is" without any warranties. Message remains the property of
the Bank and must be returned on request. Motor vehicles only. Must be 18
to enter. Must be 18 to read.
No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No
animals were harmed in the production of these documents. No animals were
used to test the runtime performance of this software. No Canadian coins.
No extra salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. No money down. No
one under 17 admitted. No other warranty expressed or implied. No Parking.
No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in
the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No
shirt, no shoes, no software, no message, no service, no kidding. No
solicitors. No Spitting. No Standing. No substitutions allowed. No
transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No
user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Not liable for damages due to use or misuse or inability to understand.
Not recommended for children. Not responsible for direct, indirect,
incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or
failure to perform. Not the Beatles.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Offer good for a limited
time only. Offer valid only at participating sites. One size fits all.
Other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted. Other
restrictions may apply.
Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics.
Parental Care Advisory - explicit source code. Penalty for private use.
Place stamp here. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a
complete stop. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post no Bills.
Post office will not deliver without postage. Postage will be paid by
addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Preservatives added to improve
freshness. Price does not include taxes. Processed at location stamped in
code at top of carton. Prosecutors will be violated.
Quality may vary. Quantities are limited while supplies last.
Read at your own risk. Read with food. Reader assumes full responsibility.
Reading is addictive. Record additional transactions on back of previous
stub. Refrigerate after opening. Reheat if eaten before date on carton.
Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant
package, not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file,
unable to forward. Ribbed for your pleasure.
Safety goggles may be required during use. Safety goggles must be worn at
all times. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your protection, do
not use if the safety seal is broken. See label for sequence. Shading
within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated
picture. Since software is hand-crafted, there will be slight differences
in each object. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher outside
of the continental US - and Ireland. Slightly higher west of the Rockies.
Slippery when wet. Smoking this message, or this software, could be
hazardous to your health. Software is provided "as is" without
any warranties expressed or implied. Some assembly and C++ required. Some
equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this
product appear for identification purposes only. Store in a cool dry
place. Subject to change without notice. Subject to FCC approval.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Take a number please. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may
find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Text used in these
documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. The
best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh. The
white zone is for passenger loading and unloading only. These documents do
not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my
friends, or my rabbit. This message, or offer, is void where prohibited,
taxed, or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational
purposes only. This program and documentation reflects the thoughts,
opinions, ideas, and body odor of myself; it does not reflect the
thoughts, opinions, ideas, and/or body odor of my company, my friends, my
wife, my husband, my sons, my daughters, my fishes, my roses, my dogs, my
hamsters, or my trash. This software is a void pointer to null where
prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This software is subject to
change without notice. Times approximate. Type hard, you are making five
copies.
Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Use caution when operating a
car or dangerous machinery. Use of this message is governed by the terms
and conditions of the Bank and Message Holder Agreement received by the
Message Holder. Use only as directed. Use only with proper ventilation.
Use other side for additional listings. User assumes full liabilities.
Void where prohibited.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
You are not in Kansas any more. You do not need to be present to win. You
may distribute this message freely but you may not make a profit from it.
You must be present to win. Your canceled
check is your receipt. Your mileage may vary.
The revolution will not be televised.
This supersedes all previous disclaimers. |
